I am very grateful to have drawn a portrait of Spencer on October 6th. About ten days later, October 17th, his heart failed after taking a turn for the worse and he died in the hospital. It is so sad that his life was cut so short. It was really unexpected (at least for me) because I was really convinced by his attitude toward his heart condition that he was going to be fine. He had so much courage to live life so fully and remain as active as he did. I am really glad I got to know him better in the weeks leading up to his death, and it's been really hard in the weeks after it to realize that we can't keep developing our friendship in the same way. (He lives on through our memory of him, and all the things that remind us of him.)
His parents were very glad to have the picture of Spencer with the portrait, and now they have it on their refrigerator to help them remember him. (I offered them the drawing itself but they wanted me to keep it so that it can help me remember him.) Apparently the day I had drawn him was his mother Penny's birthday, so in a way it is a gift to her to have such a recent and angelic photo of him. I'm really glad for my art to help a family in the unbearable process of grieving for a child.
It has been interesting to reflect on how my drawing my friends marks a new step in our relationship, and how the intimate process of drawing them helps us acquaint ourselves in a basic but intense way. Spencer was very persistent in becoming part of this drawing project that night while we were waiting for our other friend to call me. He clearly really valued the experience of being drawn-- for example, he held out a stillness for a very long time, and finally he asked "hey Beth do you mind if I scratch my head with my right arm? I'm SO ITCHY." It was kind of ridiculous since he was doing me a big favor to hold a pose for a lengthy time without pay/collateral, and tried to ignore his itch for so long. That's kind of similar to the way he was about his heart, I think-- never really complained about it. When I told this story about the head-scratch at his memorial on Thursday night, Penny came up to me and said that it was an example of how much Spencer would do anything for art, and told me a story about how he had bronchitis during a school play, and miraculously controlled his breaths to not cough for an entire scene (only to let out some hacks as soon as the stage went black).
I guess in a way this blog has had an overall cheeky tone, which is fun but also doesn't really get at all the truths of the experience. When I was drawing Spencer I couldn't get over how sweet he looked sitting there looking up at me and how nice it was we were getting to know each other. Which is of course connected to the Backstreet Boys joke. Multiple truths.
Goodbye, Spencer. We love you and miss you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
For some bizarre reason.....I have never read this until now. Don't know why. BUT, it is beautiful and so sweet and helps me remember Spencer in so many ways. AND the SketchyLady photo of him holding his portrait is still right in the middle of my (new) fridge. You also have inspired me, Beth, to sketch him which I have been doing from various photos. Someday I'll have to share them with you. In the meantime, I have really enjoyed looking at all the sketches of your friends and your parents and your experience of creating art from your relationship with them. This is all so beautiful...good luck with your one-woman show!
Post a Comment